anxiety, asd, autism, dance, depression, diet, excercise, general, health, health and fitness, lifestyle, mental health, metnal health, post natal depression, special needs, wellbeing

Who am I and why do I want to volunteer with Tots & Tums?

I,m Louise, I’m 39, and I am a mum of three gorgeous children, and married to Andrew.

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Me and my youngest, Emily

When people ask me ‘what I do’ I’m never quite sure what to say. I mean it’s easy to tell someone you work in retail, or in education, or something along those lines, but I write, and I blog, and I probably use social media way more that society suggests I probably should.

But I do all of those with reason and my intentions are always to spread messages of positivity and hope for those who may need it.

I do this because I have suffered with mental health issues pretty much all my adult life. Once I hit 16, I went off the rails and spiralled into a life which I can see now, is not the kind of life any mother would ideally want their daughter to have.

I had my first child at 21, ended up a single parent at 22, got into relationships with the wrong kind of people, made bad choices, found myself in not exactly ideal situations, but luckily I decided to try and make something of my life by going back into education at 26 once my son started school.

I met my now husband just before I turned 30 and as I was about to graduate from uni, and from then I finally got my life back on track, or more or less. We had our first child together in November 2008, then our second child September 2011.

Our oldest daughter was diagnosed with autism in April 2015, and it was at that point I said I was going to change my life. I had answers now. I’d spent so many years anxious, worrying, stressing. We had answers, a diagnosis and I needed to move forward.

So I set about making changes to my life, little by little and I can say now that I am completely through my depression. I still have moments of anxiety, but I think we all do, and I am now aware of how to control them.

I started by working towards fulfilling my childhood ambition of becoming a journalist and signed up to a distance learning course. From this I pushed myself to travel down to London on my own to do workshops, then smashed another barrier by taking my first exam, and passing. I then made myself completely familiar with my surroundings and what is going on in the area, what’s topical? What do people want to read about?, and started writing feature articles for newspapers and magazines.

I then started blogging and sharing my personal experiences of being an autism mum and living with depression and anxiety. I then took up exercise and it’s through that which I’ve made so many friends. Which brings me where I am today…

Beating depression has made me want to help others beat it too. I want to find people who have lost their way in life, and help them find it again. But I don’t want to do it sat in an office, taking notes, or as an employee who’s able to listen, but not able to give advice.

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I want to do it as me. As the girl who woke up one day and decided to take her life back. I want to find men and women who have lost all belief in themself, lost their identity, lost their path in life. I want these people realise their self-worth, identify their dreams, break their comfort zones and achieve them.

I want to be someone who helps reduce the mental health stats which fill me with tears every single time I read them. I want to be someone who makes a difference to the world, I want to potentially save lives.

And I want to do it all by sharing my experiences of kicking mental health issues and give others the confidence and belief that they can do it too.

anxiety, depression, diet, excercise, general, health, health and fitness, lifestyle, mental health, wellbeing

Don’t say ‘goodbye’ to January

Many people today may have just experienced their last ‘dry’ weekend after pledging to stay clear of alcohol for January, giving their bodies a much needed detox after a month of festive drinking and over indulgence.

If that is you I’m guessing you’re feeling more energetic, especially after the better sleep you should be experiencing. You may also be noticing your skin is clearer, and feeling less bloated and whether you weigh yourself of not, you’ve probably dropped a few pounds.

I would guess you’re currently feeling pretty awesome. Especially with the added sense of achievement. So if you are reading this and this is you, a massive WELL DONE

But, why stop now? Before you arrange a big night out next weekend, or a weekend blow-out, think for a minute how you’re feeling right now. How does your body feel? Your mind feel? Acknowledge the changes which have occurred in your life over such a short space of time.

I’m not suggesting anyone reading should completely kick the drink and sign up to a life of sobriety. Like everything, it’s fine in moderation. But now could just be the perfect opportunity to become more mindful of alcohol consumption and how it affects us both mentally and physically.

But along with staying dry this month, more than two thirds of us will have also started the year in the gym, with the intentions of making this the year we really will live up to the ‘New year, New you’ motto.

But research shows that by the end of January, over a third of us will have quietly cancelled our sparkly new gym membership before even working up a sweat.

With this in mind, what I would really like to do is to encourage anyone reading this who made that promise to change their lifestyle this year, to stick with it. Keep to your goals. Keep aiming for that healthy lifestyle you want to achieve. If you’re looking at your body and thinking you’re not seeing the differences you’d maybe hoped for, that’s because you haven’t given yourself enough time. We’re a month into a year. Four weeks. A healthy weight loss round about now would be around or just over half a stone (2lb a week is a healthy average, possibly more in the first week as we lose water). You’re not going to be seeing abs yet if that’s your aim.

But physical changes aside, this is not all about changing your body, but changing your mind. Have you found over the last four weeks you have woke up feeling happier? Less stressed? More confident? Less anxious? If you’ve been hitting the gym or taking part in some kind of physical exercise either high or lower impact, your answer should be yes to all of these

I’m not going to bore anyone with facts, or statistics but I will share that one thing I’ve learned over the years and found I’m really good at is completely pulling myself apart. I had a knack and skill of being self critical. I’d even do it through humour. ¬†(I still do, but it’s mainly tongue-in-cheek)

However, I’m REALLY pleased to say, that I am now the very proud owner of a little thing I’ve lacked most of my adult life called confidence. I mean I’m still not going to walk into a room full of people and spark up a conversation (Urgh, I’m still shy) but just a ‘this is me, this is my personality, this is my body, this is how I carry and convey myself, and I don’t really care what anyone thinks of me’ sense. There is nothing more liberating than feeling comfortable in your own skin

I’ve gained it through taking control of my life. By eating right (there is often a slight blip once a month. Any girls reading this may be completely with me on this) and I exercise regularly. I’m not even sure of the last time I felt depressed, or down, or sad. I think it was probably around a year ago. I do have the occasional ‘episode’ where I feel I just need a good cry, into a bag of Maltezers usually, but again, what can I say except I’m a woman and I’m sure I’m not alone.

So tomorrow, don’t start February, but continue January. Don’t feel as if you need to drink at the weekend to have fun, you don’t. Don’t ditch the gym membership, or miss classes. Sick with it. Your life will change if that is what you really want.

I also want to point out that I have nothing to gain writing this. I’m not endorsing any products, sponsored or paid by any gyms. I’m speaking from personal experience. I just want to offer words of encouragement and inspiration

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

diet, excercise, general, health, health and fitness, lifestyle, mental health, parenting, special needs, wellbeing

So I clearly can’t blog daily. But I’ve had a really hectic weekend. My hubby spent all day yesterday in hospital after feeling ill most of this week. He’s had a virus, but by saturday morning it was getting worse so he thought it best to go get checked out.

Obviously having two young children, I had to stay at home with them. There was no phone signal at the hospital, or wifi so I couldn’t get in touch with Andrew to find out what was happening and he couldn’t contact me, so I had an anxious few hours. I did the one thing that’s really not a good idea and googled his symptoms, then started to fear meningitis.

Oh and the central heating decided it wasn’t gonna work, so I had that to stress about too.

But thankfully he’s feeling much better today, but it feels a bit like we haven’t really had a weekend as he’s spent most of thisafternoon in bed. And I had a lonely saturday night infront of the tv with no one to talk to :o(

I hardly ate with stressing out yesterday, which i know isn’t good, but I have today.

We’re also having a diffucult time with my oldest daughter since returning to school. For anyone reading this who hasn’t read my blogs about her, she was diagnosed with autism last year. The diagnosis wasn’t a shock, we expected it. But she can be quite a handul, and her younger sister copies her behaviours so it’s often like having two children on the spectrum.

Jessica lives her life at a million miles and hour and want’s everything done instantly. She’s ready for school each morning an hour and a half before transport even arrives to collect her. And Christmas morning, she asked at 7.30am if Christmas was finished yet, and if it’s Valentines day next? Not sure why a 7-year-old would even be interested in Valentines day, but it’s Jess and she loves occassions.

She did seem to calm down and stop the demanding and shouting, and running around the house over the holidays, but she’s back to being her hyperactive self since going back to school. So it can get a bit mentally exhausting. If it wasn’t for having things in my life now which I enjoy and keeps me sane, I hate to think how I’d be feeling tonight.

I’ve done the usual 4 Clubbercise classes this week, my last one being thismorning, and it’s great to be back. I have found them more tiring than I usually do, particularly the first one on thursday, but I’ll get my energy¬†levels back up again in no time (hopefully)

I’ve ate nothing I shouldn’t have this weekend, absolutely nothing, which I’m really pleased about. It’s so easy to justify something fattening just because it’s the weekend.

So this weekend has threw things at me which I may have resolved in the past with overeating. I didn’t sleep too well last night worrying about Andrew, but I was still up and ready for Clubbercise at 9.30 thismorning. I knew if I didn’t go, I’d only lounge about, and then regret not going, and feel crap.

So here’s hoping for a better week.