dance, diet, excercise, general, health, health and fitness, lifestyle, wellbeing

The time we tried Barre @ Studio Velo

So recently it has become pretty clear to me that I am indeed, a fitness junkie. I may not look it, as believe me, I’m no size 8. But I don’t do it for that. I don’t do it for a beach body or a summer body, or anybody. I do it for myself, for the way it makes me feel. I do it to challenge myself, break comfort zones and insecurities and to increase my confidence. I love the feeling of working up a sweat, I prefer my gym gear to normal clothes, I spend my days waiting for my next ‘fix’, my next ‘hit’ and I’m forever on the look out for a new class to try.

New exercise classes pop up all the time,  and with each class I venture along to, my confidence increases and I feel ready to try something else. So yesterday I headed over to Studio Velo to try their barre class – an exercise programme that intends to ‘create a longer, leaner physique through stretching exercises both on the floor and on a ballet barre, using the same techniques and postures as traditional ballet.

Barre caught my eye as I felt it’s something way out of my comfort zone. I love working out to loud dance music, I like to sing, I like to really move about.  Although a little unsure what to expect, I felt Barre would be more low impact, require grace which I don’t feel I have, and less energy than I usually have or like to burn.

I have been along to Pound a few times, and I thought Barre may be similar in the way it focuses on strengthening and conditioning and isometric movements, but would I still enjoy without the rock tracks and rip stix?

I arrived at Velo with my friend Debra. I’m not afraid to go along to new classes on my own, I did just that last week trying out Cycle. But it’s great to have a friend there for moral support, and to go for coffee with afterwards.

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We met Melissa our Barre instructor in the reception area, then went upstairs to the mirrored dance studio. I took a mat, removed my trainers, (but kept the socks on as I can’t deal with feet. Not my own, anyway) and chose a spot on the floor. I have to admit, I’m not a fan of mirrored walls. Purely because the image I have in my head of me rocking my gym gear, is a far cry from what I actually see. But the mirror was there and I just had to suck it up and move on.

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We started off with a warm up on our mats to tracks I’m familiar with from other classes, but slow versions. Meaning I could still have a sing along in my head. Sometimes I forget I’m at an exercise class, not a rave. I did a block of ladies kickboxing sessions recently, and had to consciously remind myself to stop dancing to the music and I was there to kick and throw punches, not boogie.

We then moved on to planking and push ups. I’m still at the on your knees push up, level.  I kept looking over to Debra as she looked at me. I was exhausted after the warm up. We both were

Then it was time to hit the barre, where we stated working our quads using plies in first and second positions, the moving on to arabesques and lunges. Now to watch our workout, it may have looked easy since these exercises included just tiny pulsing movements. It may have looked like we were doing nothing, but let me tell you, we were.

After about 30 minutes on the barre we were back to the mats, but this time using the bar to concentrate on the core and upper body. Melissa explained we would lie on our back and pull ourselves up using the bar. Sounds easy, I thought confidently as I’ve done similar in the gym and feel I have quite good upper body strength. So, I lay on my back, feet flat on the floor ready to pull myself up, but nothing. I couldn’t move. I looked at Debra as she said to me ‘I can’t do it’, feeling quite relieved I replied with ‘Me neither’. Melissa then showed us a way to do it curling our core in rather than pulling up. I managed that. Just

We finished off with the core by staying sat on our mats, holding the barre above us, straightening and lifting then lowering our legs. Again, I’ve done similar during Pound, but obviously without the barre. I struggled then and I struggled again, but I still gave it my all.

The 60 minute class then ended with a cool down, and boy was I ready to cool down.

Despite its difficulty, I thoroughly enjoyed my Pure Barre experience. The playlist was good, the work out low-impact and it did felt very different to the sweaty high intensity kind of work out I’m used to. But it’s now the afternoon after, and I am aching. My arms, my legs, my back, I can feel it. Barre obviously has immense benefits, especially for your lower body and core.

If you’re interested in trying out Barre or any classes at Velo, then check out their facebook page for details

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diet, excercise, general, health, health and fitness, lifestyle, wellbeing

Indoor Cycle at Studio Velo

Thismorning I went along to my first ever Cycle class. I love trying new things, and switching up my cardio routines, and have wanted to try spinning for a while. I’ve looked through the windows of a gym curiously and wondered if it was for me, but never felt brave enough to go along, worried I wouldn’t last the whole class. But a new studio has just opened in my hometown, and decided to give it a go.

The 45 minute session was held at Velo in Whitley Bay, and the studio iteslef has only been open a few weeks. It’s a small fitness studio with its own distinctive style, providing classes for all ages and abilities in studio cycling, Pilates, yoga, barre and dance.

I was greeted by Steph, the lady behind Velo with the idea was to open somewhere local, friendly and a little bit different to exercise. Ascetically, the studio was different to any others I have been to. I instantly noticed the trendy and modern design I have never seen before in any gym, and this I liked.

I then went up the stairs to a bright and well conditioned mirrowed studio with the bikes all set up ready for class.

In the studio I was greated by Cycle Instructor Kim, who made me feel comfortable and welcome, and spoke to one of the other girls who told me she wasn’t new to cycle, but this was her first class at Velo. This made me feel so much more at ease knowing I wasn’t a complete newbie.

I chose my bike, and once everyone had arrived, Kim explained to us a little about our bikes, and how to adjust them. Explained that our hands would alternate three positions throughput the class, and how to adjust the resistance.

Once we were all set, the music was on and we were off.  There is a little screen attached to the bike, which I really should’ve taken more notice of, but I think this displays your changing heat rate throughout the class

The class was based on HIIT routines, and Kim talked us through a mental visualisation of an outdoor workout, including gear changes and pedal speed. At the start of a track we were at the bottom of the hill and reached the top by the end. I found this visualisation helpful, as I was determined to reach the top of the hill without stopping, and with as much power as I could. The uplifting tunes which I particularly enjoyed, both gave me energy and kept me motivated. I just love music and find it so much harder to exercise without. I quickly found that we were cycling to the beat, upping the speed along with the tempo during a chorus.

I’m not joking when I say 15 minutes in and I had sweat dripping off me. I do a lot of fitness, and a lot of classess but I’ve never felt so worked, so fast. I’m really proud to say I kept up with the whole class, as I was worried I’d need to pause for a break as I’ve heard how intense cycling can be. Although we were told to go at our own pace as this is our workout, I was up off the saddle and back on the saddle the same time as the rest of the class. I probably could’ve adjusted the resistance a little higher at some points, but I’m confident I can push myself a little bit more next time.

By the end of the class I felt awesome. Exhausted, but awesome. This was a well structured class, which I found challenging, with excellent positive communication from Kim throughout.

Class was 9.30 thismorning, and it’s now early evening as I write this and I believe me, I’m feeling it

Thank you so much to Velo for inviting me along.

If you’re interested in trying Indoor Cycle at Velo, then check out their website https://www.velofitness.co.uk/ or facebook page

dance, excercise, general, health, health and fitness, lifestyle, parenting, wellbeing

Clubbercise Mush Event

I know I should’ve written this way before now, but with it being the summer holidays and having two children to entertain, it’s often hard to find the time

But, as I mentioned in my previous blog, to wrap up the two weeks of promoting Mush – the free app for mums, I’d planned another Clubbercise event. I’d chosen the same venue as the previous one, as Flares as it is just the perfect venue for what I was looking for.

So after weeks of first of all getting myself in a right panic nobody would turn up, deciding what to wear and spending a small fortune on accessories and decs for the venue, the night was just brilliant. 

Along with Mel I arrived early to set up the venue. We thought having an electric pump, 45 minutes before the doors would open, would be more than enough time to inflate a variety of animals, palm trees, sharks and lilos and even a giant donut. However, the pump failed to do it’s job and I think we had our work out before it even began, by inflating them ourselves.  However, once done and put in place the venue looked ready for us to rock a Caribbean Neon party.

I think there was around 30 of us ravers who turned up in the usual neon, but this time with grass skirts, garlands and even flowery bras, to go with the Caribbean theme. 

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We were all just as rowdy and excited as the last event, and did our dance workout for around 45 minutes (I spent a lot of it taking pics/videos. Dancing wasn’t easy, and far too sweaty under a lot of pink and purple clip in hair pieces, a flower hairband and sunglasses)

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The girls were awesome, with their smiley faces, singing cheers and whoops. Seeing that alone made the night for me, as this is what it was all about – having fun with friends. And I know it’s always gonna be a good night with this crazy lot

The event itself definately ended on a high, with some of us even getting frisky with or riding on the ‘Dophin of Clubbalove’. You’re right Mel, Dave the Dolphin should to be your mascot and join us in every class.

We all stayed around for drinks afterwards, (like we were ever gonna just go home). My lovely friend Jeannie was lucky enough to have won us a VIP booth so there was 2 bottles of fizz and a giant Partini and a booth for us to sit and chat afterwards. We also decided rather than keep going to the bar, we’d all just order a cocktail jug for ourselves. So I was classy as always sat drinking 2 pints of Woo Woo, straight out the jug.

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We also found ourselve having a bit of a dance off with another group of girls in the VIP area, which is always fun. 

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I said from before I started my 5 weeks of marketing with Mush, I wanted to host an event which was all about forgetting about parenting duties for one night, letting our hair down, having a laugh, and remembering us mums can have fun too. Smashed it. Thank you girls all so much, for helping me do just that.

Thank you to Melanie once again for leading (and putting up with my often outlandish ‘Lou, we can not do that’ ideas), and Flares for their hospitality. The guys at Flares really are ace and could not do enough to help make us feel welcome, and the event a success. And they do awesome cocktails.

If you’re looking to make new mum friends, check out the app which can be downloaded via Play Store, and if you’re still to try Clubbercise, and think it may be the work out for you, click this link to find your nearest class.

Please excuse the poor quality of the video, but it’s from a Facebook Live

 

anxiety, birth, depression, general, health, lifestyle, mental health, parenting, post natal depression, pregnancy, wellbeing

July and why and what’s next

So, just briefly, around 8 weeks ago I noticed a post on the Facebook page of a free app, Mush, looking to recruit mums around the UK to market the app in their area.

The app works similar to Tinder (I don’t even know if this is the best comparison) but without the creeps, and the sleeze (no offence if you’re loved up through Tinder and views/opinions my own). But it’s similar in how it connects mums with other mums in the area.

mush

The reason I wanted to get involved is I know too well how social isolation feels and it ain’t nice. I saw this as an opportunity to help mums sat at home feeling like I did for so many years, with hope of helping them turn their life around.

Over the last 4 weeks I’ve dropped flyers off at local childrens centres, maternity units, handed them to Teachers, Childminders, Midwives. I’ve felt like a super sleuth quickly dropping them in baby change/feeding areas (do you know how weird that looks without a baby?!), changing rooms and even ladies toilets (yes, I know – living the dream). I’ve stuck stickers on park benches, pic-nic tables, bus stops, attached posters to park railings, school gates. I’ve done interviews over the phone for Smooth Radio, The Chronicle and had an exciting morning at Metro Radio, sharing my experiences of how life changes once you have a baby. I wanted to highlight that as expected, you are filled with love, you do feel complete, you do feel blessed, you do feel joy, but you also lose yourself as you put this new little person first. You completely forget who you are and what you like. It takes forever to get ready to go out anywhere, so often don’t bother. You lose contact with friends, or turn down any invites to nights out, to the point your friends stop asking you. The days are long as they start super early, the nights are late and sleep is broken. These are the negative aspects we don’t seem to hear or read about and the devastating affect they can have upon your emotional wellbeing. So basically I progressed from wanting to promote an app, to highlighting issues in parenthood we tend not to talk about. The more taboo subjects if you like. I don’t do taboo. I’ll talk about anything and everything

Moving forward, I knew as part of this role I’d be expected to plan an event. This event would be an opportunity to bring more mums together and to mark the end of the 5 weeks as part of the Mush team. I knew I could organise a coffee morning at a local soft play, or a picnic in the park. But I decided I wanted to do something different. I wanted this event to be all about the mums. I wanted an event where the babies stay at home with Dad (you don’t see dads giving up their social life once baby arrives, right?) and the mums get some much deserved ‘me’ time. And I thought I’d throw an opportunity for a well deserved cocktail or two

So it’s in a pub. Out of the 50 Mush recruits, pretty sure I’m the only one to be hosting a piss up. But in my defence,  we’re not just meeting up for a Saturday night sesh in town. We’re Clubbercising first for an hour. We’re throwing on our gym gear and trainers, grass skirts (Caribbean theme) and coconut bras (not me, but my friend is) painting and glittering our faces and doing a dance work out, with our glow sticks, whistles and whoops to 90s to current day tracks on the lit up dancefloor of Flares. I can not wait and loving the prep I’ve been doing this week. I’m currently sat on the sofa with a blow up dolphin to the left of me, and giant banana and crocodile to the right. And a pile of lilos and rubber rings on the table.

We did this in May in aid of Radio Lollipop where I volunteer and it was such a good night, I could not miss and opportunity to do it all again.

flares

I want music, I want dancing, I want laughter and I want a night to hopefully remember. But most of all, I want a fun night with my friends. The girls who mean more to me than they probably know. It’s only Wednesday and I’ve already seen three of them this week. How awesome is that. I want other women who feel alone to realise that it’s never to late to rediscover yourself. To remember what you like, what makes you laugh, how it feels to have fun. But most of all, how important it is to have friends, as they could be a lifeline.

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And I was about to share some more exciting info, but I’m keeping that for a future blog. I’m keeping this one all about the Mammys, how awesome they are, how hard it can be and how they don’t ever have to do it alone.

For more info about my event click on this link

https://www.facebook.com/events/102859490355781/

And to download the Mush app

https://mushapp.app.link/zeSiqqr4mE

 

 

anxiety, autism, dance, depression, diet, excercise, general, health, health and fitness, lifestyle, mental health, parenting, post natal depression, special needs, wellbeing

My postnatal depression story

I’m no longer ashamed to admit that I have trouble remembering the first two years of my sons life. I can not tell you at what age he got his first tooth, his favourite food as a baby, his first word or when he began to sleep through the night.  I’m not even sure of what age he took his first steps.

My second child, I can tell you all her milestones. I think that’s mainly due to the amount of times I’ve had to go over them with paediatricians, therapists, doctors. She has autism, and was finally diagnosed at age six just last year.

My youngest,  Emily. I know all her firsts. Mainly because I was extra vigilant looking out for any red flags we had with my eldest daughter.

Each pregnancy was different. All had the usual sickness and discomfort.  But my third pregnancy, I just wasn’t feeling those feelings you associate with pregnancy. The excitement,  the happiness, the eagerness. I didn’t really feel anything.

I brought my feelings (or lack of) up with my midwife whilst getting my bloods done. I was assured it was perfectly normal , due to hormones and it would all settle down probably by my next appointment.

Only it didn’t.  I didn’t take joy in shopping for baby clothes, I was in no rush to pack my hospital bag, I just wasn’t feeling it. I was emotionless.

I booked a 3D scan around the 32 week mark, hoping that would make everything feel more real, I don’t think it did. It was a wonderful experience, of course it was, but the sadness continued.

The years which followed my daughters birth in September 2011 were dark, very dark. I was dealing with the likelihood of my oldest daughter having autism, which was causing stress along with that lingering feeling of worthlessness. But before even falling pregnant with my daughter, I was dealing with body image issues. I hated my appearance to the point it was affecting my everyday life. These feelings got worse. I’d stay home all day unable to face the world, or I’d only leave the house when it was dark. I’d avoid mirrors and my reflection in windows. I’d panic if we had a party or wedding to go to. I hide away in the toilets to avoid any social interaction.  And my heart would pound and my  head spin if I saw anyone with a camera.

I’d apologise to my children, as small as they were and unable to understand, for being a useless mother. I’d tell them I loved them as the tears rolled down my face, and that I was doing my best. I’d ask my husband why he was with me and give him the option to leave, which always left him gobsmacked and confused.

I’d go to bed each night and secretly wish I wouldn’t wake up. I’d have dreams of living a life where I am happy and have friends around me, and wake up devastated when I realised they were just that. A dream

My husband found me a video on Youtube about the ‘Black dog’, and asked me to watch it. I did. I broke down and he told me to get help.

I went to my GP, told her my feelings and filled in a questionnaire. From that she gathered I had depression and extreme anxiety. I was referred to the Mental Health Team. Again. I was already in therapy before falling pregnant with Emily dealing with body image issues. Hence my panic when faced with the prospect of having my photo taken. I was a mess. An absolute broken mess

That was September 2013. From then on I had fortnightly visits from my Health Visitor. She didn’t come to pry or check up on me. She came to lend and ear aswell as advice and support, and I thanked her for that.

October 2013 I began attending well-being courses. I picked up techniques to deal with stress, become assertive and gain confidence.

Summer 2014 I had my first appointment with I think it was a life coach. She pretty much assessed me to see if she could help. She couldn’t. My condition was too extreme.  I was then referred to a clinical psychologist. Again

I met with my therapist every two weeks and I think I had around 10 sessions before I decided I felt ready to face the world alone once again.

I learned through these sessions I was suffering with post-natal depression, and that the depression had even grown DURING pregnancy. I found out through a quick glance at my notes at the doctors surgery as they came up on the computer screen during an appointment, that  I had been suffering with PND after the birth of my second child. I found out through a letter sent to my doctors and a copy to sent to me, that I’d even been suffering with PND after the birth of my first child way back in 1999. I had my son at 21 so I’d spent most of my adult life with depression. I genuinely thought I was just useless, unlikable, disgusting. I was non of those. I was depressed.

PND took away my memories of my first child growing from baby to toddler, it kept me indoors, it filled me with fear, took away my self-esteem and stripped me of my confidence

When the therapy ended, I took up blogging. I decided to chase my dreams and enrolled on a distance learning course. This both occupied my mind and my confidence began to grow. I‘ve taken up exercise, and spend most days either in a gym or an exercise class. I’ve made new friends. I even spend two hours on a Sunday night as part of a team for a local radio station. I’m still building up my confidence to become more involved, but I know I will. I know I can do it. I can do anything if I continue to believe in myself.

Over the months I’ve thrown myself into situations I would usually avoid. I’ve done things I could never imagine doing and I am in a place now where I have never been in before. A very good place and although I am an anxious person by nature, I have my anxiety under control and I will never let depression take over my life or steal my memories again.

anxiety, depression, excercise, general, health, health and fitness, lifestyle, mental health, wellbeing

Dear Anxiety

Dear Anxiety,

It is not often that we personally address something which we cannot physically see, but I can feel you, and I have been able to for as long as I can remember. You’re part of me and I dislike you as much as the lumps, bumps and flaws I’ve beaten myself up over for the longest time, which I can see. The lumps and bumps and flaws which aren’t even half as bad as you’ve had me believe. I was even convinced at one point in my life that I was too ugly to leave the house, so would spend my days in doors, hidden away from the world. But I wasn’t too ugly, I was too anxious.

I have periods where your toxic thoughts take over my mind and fill my soul with negative feelings and take away every bit of self-belief I have strived to gain. I have no photos of me holding my three children as babies, not one single photo.  No visual memories of days out or birthdays with their proud mum – until this year. I did not want to look at myself as I could not deal with the repulse I would feel, or have anyone else look at me and squirm. And I hate you for that.

You’ve stolen hours, days, weeks and months from me,  even a large part of my childhood where I struggled to make friends. The school days where I sat in my chair with my head down avoiding any kind of eye contact with the teacher during reading, filled with dread and fear that I would be asked to read aloud to the class. My heart pounding. My head spinning. Sitting knowing the answers to questions, but not daring to raise my hand for the fear, the absolute humiliation of being wrong.

University wasn’t easy either. Believing I wasn’t smart enough to be on the course and I was heading for a fail from day 1. Luckily, every single assignment I got back, proved you wrong. I graduated with a 2:2 which I worked so hard to get, and around being a single parent. I was good enough, and my confidence hit an all time high. I thought I’d beat you.

I hadn’t. You’ve been the most prominent part of my life for the last three or four years in particular. Where I have battled with you literally every, single day. You’ve made me tear myself up inside to the point where when asked what it is I don’t like about myself, I had a list. I hated everything from the colour of my hair to my overly bitten fingernails. You had messed with and taken over my mind to the extent that when I looked in the mirror I didn’t see what everyone else saw, but a horrific, distorted image. You made me want to hide away. So I did. I isolated myself. I couldn’t deal with the world of thinking people are pointing and laughing at me. Thinking that everything that came our of my mouth was just plain, insignificant rubbish. Convinced I’m unlikable, and undeserving of friendships, which I find incredibly hard to make and maintain.

Eventually I went for help. And it’s from that help I was given the ammunition to fight you. I was put in a position where I had to identify and talk about my positive qualities, and given the tools to challenge negative thoughts. I was given enough self-belief to realise I can be anything I want to be, and began to pursue my dream.

I’m fully aware of you now. I can feel how you flood my thoughts and infest my mood with dark paralysis and despair. You are literally a demon.

I’m now at a place where I’ve become completely mindful. I’m finally in tune with my body and emotions. I can feel you creeping up on me, and as recent as three weeks ago, you had me convinced yet again that I’m a failure. You drained me for days. All the tears, the effort of pretending I’m fine when around other people whilst forcing a smile. The listening to my husbands words of positivity but choosing to ignore them, makes me exhausted, and him frustrated. But just like any illness, I knew it would pass and just had to ride it out. You’ve gone now and yet again I’ve gained more strength. I’m winning.

So thank you anxiety, for giving me the courage to chase my dreams. I wouldn’t be writing this if it wasn’t for you. I wouldn’t be working my way towards a diploma in journalism, and I wouldn’t be taking care of myself and working out so much to release the natural endorphins which help to keep your evil thoughts at bay and act as a must needed distraction as I feel you creeping around me, smirking.

I’m taking back my life, anxiety, so next time you try to worm your way in, don’t worry, I’ve got this.

(Origionally Published on Cultnoise Magazine)

 

 

 

birth, general, health, humour, lifestyle, parenting, post natal depression, pregnancy

The truth about pregnancy

We’ve all read stories and watched documentaries where mums-to-be talk about feeling so maternal and womanly and fulfilled now that their body is doing all the things it’s made to do, and how they are fully embracing their expanding bodies.

But maybe we should talk more honestly and openly about pregnany and realise it’s perfectly ok to admit you’re finding it tough and wishing the 9 months over without feeling inadequate or ungreatful.

So I thought I’d share an insight into what to really expect during pregnancy, based on my own experiences

‘Morning’ sickness

How naive was I when I thought it would just automatically stop at I around 12 weeks, like it’s on a timer. It lasted all day, every day, with all three babies. I’m not talking just little bouts of nausea as you go about your day. But a full on hangover. I spent the majority of 9 months with my head in the toilet. Any toilet.

Baby brain

The pregnancy-induced fog which many women experience and scientist ‘claim’ may exist. It does exist and we don’t need a dude in a white coat in a lab to confirm it.

You’ll forget everything where the ability to remember even your own name becomes difficult. I was asked the DOBs of my two children whilst pregnant with my third, along with my due date at a doctors appointment. All I could offer was a blank stare which just screamed ‘are you freaking serious’?

I ended up skint for four days when I incorrectly entered my pin number in the cash point three times and said goodbye to my card.

It’s not just a pregnancy thing either. You’ll still be going to Boots for nappies but leaving with toothpaste and finding your keys in the fridge well after the birth

The sonographer isn’t always correct

From my 20 week scan with my first, we eagerly awaited the birth of ‘Chloe’  and I built up a collection of pretty little frilly dresses and dinky pink shoes.

Some went back to the shop once Callum arrived into the world at 42 weeks, and some my sister dressed him in anyway for a giggle and photos which we will get blown up for his 18th

Obviously technology has progressed over the last 18 years, and they were bang on the money with my other two. But I’d hold out on decorating the nursery pink or blue until little one arrives, and have a back up name of the opposite gender.

Sometimes I wonder why I didn’t just leave the sex as a surprise, but there is no bigger surprise than expecting a girl but giving birth to a beautiful baby boy.

It’s not just 9 months,

The first 20 weeks are the longest, although probably not as long as the last two weeks, or the two weeks after your due date

And if you have pregnant friends or know anyone who is due round the same times as you, they’ll give birth before you. Guaranteed

My hubby made the mistake of telling me one of his work mates had just gone on paternity leave as he walked through the door one night. My eyes widened as he realised he shouldn’t his error. I was due before his wife. I was due before pretty much anyone I knew who dropped before me

Everything makes you cry

News articles, songs, films, pregnancy books, adverts, Call the Midwife, the price of prams, everything. Especially the price of prams

Then there’s the other end of the spectrum when you get ‘the rage’. I’m not a jealous partner. And that’s not because I’m all confident in myself, I’m not. I just don’t seem to feel jealousy as an emotion.

Except whilst with child.

My hubby went to an open day at a gym with his friend. I was fine with it as first, why wouldn’t I be? Till I started to envisage hot girls in gym gear, with a tiny little waist whist mine was that of a baby hippo, and the texts went from ‘are you having a good day’?, to ‘SO ARE THERE ANY WOMEN THERE’. Yeah I felt a slight niggle of jealousy that day

The ‘glow’

Spots, dry skin, bloodshot eyes from sickness – absolute radiance

Food aversions

I remember smuggly discussing diet with my midwife right at the start of my last pregnancy. I had just lost around 50lbs so obviously wanted to gain as least weight as possible,  so sat and confidently told her how disciplined I now was and would 100% be sticking to a healthy nutritious diet of fruit and veg

I could literally only stomach bread, chicken and mash for around the first 5 months as I found myself unintentionally on some king of beige coloured food diet as anything with any colour made me want to barf.

I gained around 60lbs and only just under 9lb of that was baby, lets attribute about 20lbs to fluid, placenta, boobs and uterus, and you do the maths.

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Fail

Heightened sense of smell

We’re talking that of  a blood hound. It drives you crazy and it makes you nauseous.

I wasn’t living with my now hubby till about 7 months into the pregnancy, and he knew to remove all the plug-ins before going to his. My new sofa got doused in olbas oil (hubs idea) making the smell even more unbareable than that of leather which was knocking me sick in the first place, and all plastic bags went in the bin. Yes, plastic bags have a smell

I got the bus home from work during my first pregnancy and some fool got on with a pizza. I suffered for 30 minutes with the overpowering meat feasty smell wafting around in front of me.  Ran (or wobbled quickly) home down the never ending street (I lived at number 208), opened the front door and thank god there was a downstairs toilet as I just made it in time

Luckily, it doesn’t last the whole nine months, I’d say 8.

I’m gonna be a good blogger and make this more balanced. The best, most special things about pregnancy, which you think about for years and years after giving birth, probably forever, is the tiny little flutters you feel at around 16 weeks, which turn into little patters then tight squeezed wiggles and kicks which wake you up in the night and keep you awake for hours as you lie and watch growing bump knockout some rather impressive shapes.

It’s without a doubt, the best, most precious feeling in the world.

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So maybe like almost everything else in your life, the best, most wonderful, most amazing things come from the hardest, darkest and most difficult of times.

 

birth, general, health, humour, lifestyle, pregnancy

The truth about labour

Between Hollywood and old wives’ tales, there’s a lot of misleading information about childbirth out there. But until you’ve been through it, it’s hard to separate fact from fiction.

I’ve had three children, all natural deliveries. Two induced, one spontaneous labour, each experience different. So thought I’d clear up a few myths and expectations and tell it like it is based on my experiences

It’s nothing like One Born Every Minute

First off, I can’t speak for other mums and dads, but there was no playful chatty excited banter in the delivery room with my other half. None.

Mainly because soon after my  first dose of induction gel with my second child, my hubby was given a bed, snuggled down and went to sleep. Which worked out fine anyway, as I wasn’t able to think of anything other to say other than repeat ‘I am SHITTING myself’.

I then labored very quietly an hour later, for around three hours, before waking him. Then once again repeatedly told him I was shitting myself.

How do I know I’m in labour

If it’s your first time you may be expecting your waters breaking will be your first sign of labour. This was the case with my first two children, but with my third, contractions started soon after my second sweep.

They actually started as we went to do our weekly shop in Morrisons. Intensified throughthe night, so off to hospital we went at 5am, via McDonalds drive through, for carbs.

I was checked over. Confirmed  I was in active labour, but sent home. They got stronger as soon as my waters broke whilst bouncing on my yoga ball watching ‘Thismoring’. So straight back to hospital we went. Me sat in the passenger seat on a pampers changing mat to protect the seats. Seriously.

I was convinced I wasn’t going to make it from the car park to the delivery room. Rushed through the hospital recption area pulling my overnight hospital bag replying ‘NOW’ as someone asked when I was due, and stood in the lift insisting ‘it’s coming out’ whilst thinking ‘phew, we’ve made it just in time’ and ‘go me’ for doing it all drug free.

I went another 5 hours

Your birth plan goes right out the window

Nobody can predict how a birth will go. With my first I stated I’d rather not have any students present, yet I had 3 or 4 stood at the end of the bed, watching intensely and taking notes as I was stitched up after labour.

I hoped for a water birth with my third. I had a vision of this completely calm, earth mother, serene drug free experience. Just me, the midwife, and the hubby

My daughter opened her bowls, ruling out a water birth. I panicked every single time the midwife left the room and continuously sent my hubby out to look for her, snapped up her offer of ‘pethidine’ without hesitation, and again welcomed a few male student doctors in the room. Pretty sure I kept asking them random questions, although I have no idea what – I was off my face.

They congratulated me and left as soon as I’d given birth, turning down the opportunity to watch the needlework.

The birth plan goes right out the window, along with your dignity

The truth about the poo

Yes, you might have one, no you will not realise this, yes your partner will find great joy and hilarity in telling you, and no you will not care

The tea and toast

I think I was more focused on the tea and toast I knew I’d be getting after labour than the hugs with my baby whilst laboring with my third. I knew the drill at this point, baby, placenta, repair, toast.

I swear my hubby even spurned me on with ‘Think of the tea and toast, Lou’ as I pushed through the final contractions with my third

Post birth tea and toast is the best tea and toast you will ever have in your life

Your hospital bag

Pack underwear, plenty of it or like me you’ll be texting your mate asking her to pop to Peacocks on their way to hospital to visit, to pick up a few packs of big black size 18s

This is also the one occasion it’s perfectly acceptable to rock a nighty and pair of fluffy socks. But trust me, it’s gonna get messy so make sure they’re cheap ones.

And just when you think you’re done

You have to endure the not so rewarding third stage of labour, which nobody tells you about. The delivery of the placenta. I think it just pretty much slipped out with my first two, but with my third I was convinced it was twins and powered through it with gas and air. There was a moment of panic as I heard the words’surgery’, but out it popped just in time

The hospital exit

Boy is it emotional. Not only are you  met with ‘congratulations’ off hospital staff as you pass them, you also feel a slight pang of ‘we’re on our own now’ anxiety

I’ll always remember filling up with tears as I heard my other half say ‘welcome to the world, little one’ as we exited through the doors with Emily.

It’s a special moment, take it all in

 

You’ll probably vow ‘never again’ 

Whilst in the final stages of labour, then whisper ‘I’d do it again in a heartbeat’ the second you hold your long awaited perfect tiny little bundle.

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Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/LouAlex

Twitter @LouAlexa

Instagram loualexaa

 

 

anxiety, asd, autism, dance, depression, diet, excercise, general, health, health and fitness, lifestyle, mental health, metnal health, post natal depression, special needs, wellbeing

Who am I and why do I want to volunteer with Tots & Tums?

I,m Louise, I’m 39, and I am a mum of three gorgeous children, and married to Andrew.

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Me and my youngest, Emily

When people ask me ‘what I do’ I’m never quite sure what to say. I mean it’s easy to tell someone you work in retail, or in education, or something along those lines, but I write, and I blog, and I probably use social media way more that society suggests I probably should.

But I do all of those with reason and my intentions are always to spread messages of positivity and hope for those who may need it.

I do this because I have suffered with mental health issues pretty much all my adult life. Once I hit 16, I went off the rails and spiralled into a life which I can see now, is not the kind of life any mother would ideally want their daughter to have.

I had my first child at 21, ended up a single parent at 22, got into relationships with the wrong kind of people, made bad choices, found myself in not exactly ideal situations, but luckily I decided to try and make something of my life by going back into education at 26 once my son started school.

I met my now husband just before I turned 30 and as I was about to graduate from uni, and from then I finally got my life back on track, or more or less. We had our first child together in November 2008, then our second child September 2011.

Our oldest daughter was diagnosed with autism in April 2015, and it was at that point I said I was going to change my life. I had answers now. I’d spent so many years anxious, worrying, stressing. We had answers, a diagnosis and I needed to move forward.

So I set about making changes to my life, little by little and I can say now that I am completely through my depression. I still have moments of anxiety, but I think we all do, and I am now aware of how to control them.

I started by working towards fulfilling my childhood ambition of becoming a journalist and signed up to a distance learning course. From this I pushed myself to travel down to London on my own to do workshops, then smashed another barrier by taking my first exam, and passing. I then made myself completely familiar with my surroundings and what is going on in the area, what’s topical? What do people want to read about?, and started writing feature articles for newspapers and magazines.

I then started blogging and sharing my personal experiences of being an autism mum and living with depression and anxiety. I then took up exercise and it’s through that which I’ve made so many friends. Which brings me where I am today…

Beating depression has made me want to help others beat it too. I want to find people who have lost their way in life, and help them find it again. But I don’t want to do it sat in an office, taking notes, or as an employee who’s able to listen, but not able to give advice.

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I want to do it as me. As the girl who woke up one day and decided to take her life back. I want to find men and women who have lost all belief in themself, lost their identity, lost their path in life. I want these people realise their self-worth, identify their dreams, break their comfort zones and achieve them.

I want to be someone who helps reduce the mental health stats which fill me with tears every single time I read them. I want to be someone who makes a difference to the world, I want to potentially save lives.

And I want to do it all by sharing my experiences of kicking mental health issues and give others the confidence and belief that they can do it too.

anxiety, celebrity, depression, general, health, mental health, wellbeing

Nailing Mental Health

 

1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem in any given year

9 out of 10 people with mental health problems experience stigma and discrimination

Somebody loses their life every TWO HOURS due to mental health

For every one female to take their own life due to mental health struggles, 4 men take theirs

In 2015 in the UK and ROI 6,078 people suffering with mental health issues, took their own life

2015 is also the year I finally took back control of my life, and fought the hardest battle I ever have, and won.

This is why when asked by Beauty Therapist Alison Mitchell,

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Alison Mitchell, just one of the 350 nail techs who’ll be taking part in the event

if I could give a little assistance promoting an upcoming event aimed at raising awareness surrounding mental health and to raise funds to go towards the provision of care of those suffering, I’m all behind it.

A celebrity nail artist from Dartford, Kent, has set up event  ‘Nailing Mental Health’, which will be taking place on Sunday 2nd April at InterContinental O2 Hotel, London from 10.30am where herself and approximately 350 nail techs will attempt to break a world record by doing at least 6,078 shapes and paints in green glitter, which is the colour of the mental heath ribbon, over 8 hours to mark each of the lives lost to mental illness.

Stephanie Staunton, whilst suffering her own battles, came up with the idea after suffering a break down and suicide attempt in August 2016. Stephanie, and her team aim to raise £30K, with a donation of £5 from each person who has their nails painted, and the funds raised will go towards MIND, Samaritans and Stephanies charity ‘Nailing Mental Health’.

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Stephanie Stuanton showing support with green nails

All funds raised will be used to cover the cost of therapy which will be offered to those suffering with mental health issues, as current waiting lists on the NHS can be anything between 12-18weeks, which can have devastating consequences.

But the event is just as much about raising awareness as it is funds. More shocking statistics show that

1 in 10 children and young people aged 5 – 16 suffer from a diagnosable mental health disorder – that is around three children in every class.

Between 1 in every 12 and 1 in 15 children and young people deliberately self-harm 

There has been a big increase in the number of young people being admitted to hospital because of self harm. Over the last ten years this figure has increased by 68%.

This is why we need to act, and we need to act now. We need more understanding around the issues surrounding mental health, and how we can help. We need more funding to provide the potentially life save care these people desperately need.

The event has already drawn some celebrity support, with some names set to attend on the day. But there is still an urgent need of nail techs to help set this record, which will be judged by Guinness Book of Records), and members of the public to attend the venue to have their nails painted.

To be part of this event and help raise awareness of mental health issues and funds for the charity, contact Stephanie via the Nailing Mental Health Facebook group.

http://www.nailingmentalhealth.org.uk

info@nailingmentalhealth.org.uk

Instagram @nailingmentalhealth