autism, general, health, parenting, special needs

Experiencing how it ‘should be’

Our house has been hit with a lingering bug this past week, Jessica suffering the worst.

School transport pulled up outside as usual on wednesday night. I opened the door and was handed a black bin bag containing Jessicas coat, scarf and book bag. Dennis, the driver began to explain she’d been sick on the bus, as a very pale Jessica ran right past me and upstairs to the bathroom. I wasn’t concerned, Emily had been ill today also as was I. don’t really worry when the kids get ill. They pick up and spread germs all the time, it’s part of life. My initial thought was at least we’ll have a quiet night rather than the usual chaos which starts from the second Jessica comes home and continues till bedtime. But, I was wrong. I went upstairs to change her out of her uniform, pick up a blanket and her bun bun, and lie her on the sofa. And there she was, jumping on her bed, as you do minutes after throwing up.

The next day I kept her off school. She seemed fine, but it’s school policy. Although complaining of a sore tummy, thursday was as tiring a day as usual. Both girls fighting. Jessica running up and down stairs, jumping up and down on and climbing on furniture. At this point I was feeling quite convinced Jessica just does not ‘do’ ill. She’ll have the symptoms, and the temperature, but it’s like she remains unaffected, she still functions as normal.

Friday she was fine, but saturday she was quiet. I could tell she was coming down with a cold. I managed to have a shower without having to grab a towel numerous times and run downstairs to break up a fight between her and Emily. We spent the afternoon at the Tim Lamb Centre which we take her too. She sat for about half an hour in the art room painting a picture. Then went into the games room and she sat next to two other girls playing a board game. Emily tried to join in with the other girls, well the best a 3-year-old can, which was taking the counters off the board, but she wanted to be part of the game. Jessica sat near the girls, but playing with lego. She wanted to be with the other girls, but doing her own thing. That was fine. I then took Jessica to the sensory room where she sat next to a water light for about an hour, and we just talked, and sang.

We went shopping, no drama, came home, no drama, and both girls were in bed by 7 and I had very little mess and destruction to tidy up than usual. Sunday morning, Jessica woke up with a temp again, and complained once again of a sore tummy. We did go out just to get her some fresh air, but she said she wanted to go home, so we did and the three of us watched Peppa Pig together.

Monday, although more colourful and happier, I kept her at home. We spent the day playing shops, singing and drawing. Jessica NEVER sits still for more than a few seconds to watch anything, or can hold her attention long enough to engage in any kind of proper conversation. We get fleeting replies to questions, as that’s what most of our conversation is based on. She has to be asked questions, or she will just pretty much narrate what is going on around her.

Today, I kept her off school again. She’s better again, but slightly pale and nothing like her overly energetic self. We took Emily to her little pre-school. I then took Jessica for her breakfast as we discussed yesterday we would do. I was even ready to leave the house earlier than normal for a week day.

We went to a cafe, and we left when I suggested. Not because Jesscia refused to sit down, or because I was sensing animostity from others, but because we had finished, and I knew she wanted to go to the library, which we did, for an hour, with no outbursts, no running up and down the aisles of books. She even prompted me ‘one more minute then we’re going to get Emily’.

When we got home she told me she’d had a lovely morning and that I’m an ‘amazing mummy’. Words to melt anyones heart. We had another enjoyable quiet afternoon. When Jessica is calm, Emily is too.

I’ve had four days enjoying both girls more than ever. Four peaceful days. Four days of how it should be. Watching them both play together. I’ve loved hearing Emily ask Jessica ‘would you like to buy an ice cream’ as she’s stood holding rolled up paper, then asking Jessica for ‘one thousand pounds’ as Jessica says ‘yes please’. I’m loving Jessica asking me questions and answering mine, Jessica singing, Jessica reading, snuggling up and watching a dvd with me and Emily. Just things I would expect are pretty much the norm of a 6-year-old. I can handle the routines and rituals, the embarrassing things she says in the wrong place or at the wrong time, her waking me every couple of hours in the night to tell me that she knows she has to be quiet because Emily is asleep, her new little obsession of only wanting to wear clothes which she has, from a particular shop as she has a new little fascination with labels. It’s the hyperactivity, anxiety and screaming which makes everything hard. It’s like her body is being taken over with too much energy, which takes a full day to burn and she is refuelled while we should still be sleeping, and those three things which I hate right now as they are stopping me from learning more and more about my beautiful girl.

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