autism, general, health, metnal health, wellbeing

Ways to deal/cope with lifes lows

Over the last year or so, I’ve finally learned how to deal with any merging feelings of depression/anxiety (they never fully develop. I won’t let them), and can now effectively deal with a symptom as soon as it appears.

The onset of depression can often be indicated by a feeling of low mood or sadness. A feeling of becoming more tearful, or less tolerant of others. A feeling of a being in a constant state of panic, or worry, just that feeling that you really aren’t enjoying life at all.

In addition to those psychological symptoms, there is also they physical symptoms to deal with, which I actually never linked to depression, they had to be pointed out to me. The change of appetite, not wanting to eat, although typically I went the other way, leading to an increase in weight, then a decrease in self-esteem. Physical symptoms also include aches and pains, and the most common,  finding it hard to sleep, or sleeping too much.

These symptoms obviously have an affect the way we function and interact with the world. We may find that we are not doing as well at work, neglecting hobbies and interests, and experiencing difficulties at home or isolating ourselves.

The easiest and often most popular way of dealing with these symptoms is with medication. Antidepressants work  by increasing levels of chemicals in the brain called neurotransmitters. Certain neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and noradrenaline can improve mood and emotion. The increasing levels of neurotransmitters can also disrupt pain signals sent by nerves. Sound like a pretty efficient quick fix (although antidepressants do generally take two weeks to start taking effect).

The ways in which I have managed my mood are:

Know the symptoms By knowing the symptoms of depression, you can then deal with them, which has probably been the most useful advice I have been given. The minute I start to feel low, I’ll tackle those feelings

Identify the cause If I start to feel low, I’ll think about what has been going on in my life recently. Is it something someone has said which has knocked me and having a busy life which goes at a million miles an hour, I haven’t dealt with it. Have I been doing so much recently that I’ve just not taken any time to relax, and its a feeling of exhaustion?

Act on it In the early days when life took a different turn as expected, I’d to spend quite a lot of time just talking about how I feel, letting it all out, having that feeling of slight relief, then continuing on with the same problems or issues, which would again build up. I very rarely complain to anyone about feeling depressed or low now, because I don’t. Maybe I may have just became hardened to it (it takes a lot to upset me now, and I’ll challenge anyone or anything which does) or most importantly, I’ve accepted life as it is. We never anticipated or planned to have a child with a disability, but we have, and I embrace it.

Let it go – Who would’ve thought of getting advice from a Disney film, but it’s true. Let things go. Let go of your expectations, any criticisms you may have encountered, negative thoughts or beliefs. Leave them where they belong, in the past.

Belive in yourself – We’re all born with the capacity to achieve whatever we want, just some of us lack the confidence. I’ve put myself in situations I would completely avoid, or never dream of being in over just the last few months. I’ve signed myself up to something, or arranged to do something, said ‘I can’t do it’, but been reminded and encouraged that I can, so I have. I thrive on that feeling of achievement, and the adrenaline of the build up.

Surround yourself with positive people – This should be a rule of life, not a coping mechanism. Don’t soak in other people’s negativity, let them add to your positivity. Even if this means re-evaluating those around you.

Stop ‘being strong’ – This is just my opinion, and I may be going completely against the grain, and it may not work for some people, but STOP BEING STRONG. It’s cliched advice to ‘stay strong’. I’ve never stayed strong. I’ve stayed focused, but never been strong. If I wanted to have a good cry, I’ve had one. If I’ve wanted a day to myself,  Andrew has taken care of the kids whilst I’ve lay in bed away from the world. I’ve always felt better the next day and ready to move on. Staying strong only allows the feelings to mount up, and will eventually explode. I think it’s more useful to deal with how you are feeling, day by day.

Take time out for yourself having a busy, noisy life, I find I need to have proper wind down time once a week. It’s something to look forward to, and something I really appreciate.

Take care of yourself Excercise is the best way to release serotonin and endorphins. I’m not going to pretend I assign to this method, because I don’t. I detest exercise. I joined the gym, left the gym. Bought trainers, threw them in the cupboard. Bought a pedometer, and the last time I saw it it, was wedged between the fridge and the kitchen unit. But if you do enjoy it, do it.

Eat healthy – Something which I do do, just I get my serotonin fix from chocolate. I don’t eat any fried, processed, or frozen food. These foods will have an affect on your mood, aswell as your health.

So, I can say that I’ve never taken any long medication at all to deal with anxiety/depression/stress, and never will. It’s all about keeping in check with yourself, and being open and honest about your feelings and experiences.

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